Fuck! there's a lot of dust in here, where did my cleaner go? Lazy biatch!
Anyhoo, this is just a quicky and it's not even about me.........I know, imagine that! This is about the most wonderful thing to ever come from this blogging caper, and I had a hand in it, so I'm gloating.

Check this.

The Aussie blog in question is MINE. Oh yeah, RSVP be damned, this is where it's at baby! I know of at least two other bloggers that are shagging thanks to moi, so I'm rapt to be doing my bit at uniting people's fun bits all over the world!! *Happy dance*

To my darling Fab and Trueborn, I wish you both the very best, much love, and a lifetime of laughter and joy.
I swear, if this is the only thing my stoopid lil blog is remembered for, then that's good enough for me.

Ciao for now!

I'm tired and I wanna go to bed.
Do you know that's a song? My dad used to sing it every time he got drunk and lately I'm finding myself doing the same.........I must be getting old. Even in my hooker heels and gash flashing dress.

I know I said I was going to blog till I hit 500 posts, but I just don't have it in me. Everything has a shelf life, even us, and it's time this blog was put to bed.

The thing is, I just don't get up to as many shenanigans and hijinks as before. I've recently saved the deposit for a small shoebox in Sydney, so weekends are spent trawling squalid apartments and haggling with Real Estate bastards. Weekdays it's all about work, and as I promised the boy I would never reduce him or our relationship to mere blog fodder, I just don't have much to say any more.
I've tried to keep up with everyone's blogs too, but I'm starting to feel like that friend who rarely returns calls, and then feels left out of the loop when you finally catch up. *le sigh* This blogging caper is hard work! I just don't have the time nor the desire anymore, and I'm officially BORING!

Having said that, it's been one hell of a ride. I started this little blog almost three years ago, (thanks for reminding me chuddy) and had no idea the people it would bring to me, the laughs I'd have, and the things I'd learn. I've made connections with total strangers who have shared their lives with me, and shared my life in turn. I saw everything through bloggy coloured glasses, there was a blog post in almost every situation and I had so much fun sharing my warped sense of humour and twisted mind with you all. I still shudder (as does my poor mother) at some of the things I've blogged about right here, it's like I lost all inhibitions (not that I had THAT many to begin with) but I just let it all hang out right here and not only did most people seem to like it, they came back for MORE.
Isn't nice to discover you're not the only freak in the village! Haaaaaaaahahah!!

Seriously, writing this blog has changed me as a person. It was better than therapy, cheaper too, and it's enabled me to move on from events I thought I never would. Laying it Bare was the single hardest, yet most satisfying thing I have ever written and I want to thank all the people that helped me through that time, helped me to put it all into perspective and move forward, because without the words of support, of understanding and acceptance from the hundred or so people who took the time to respond, I don't think I would have ever spoken about it to my family, and friends, and been able to put that chapter of my life behind me. Prior to writing that post, the whole "issue" had been the pink elephant in the room. It was something that was never referred to, but was always in the background begging to be discussed. That post created an avenue for the people who know me offline, and my family who read me, to broach the subject and it was like a massive weight had been lifted from my shoulders.
I can't thank those people enough, and I will never forget them.

Ok, now I'm fucking tearing up! GAH!! Stop it. Someone say cuntbollocksfuckbitchbastard! Quick!!!

Annnnnnnnnnnnd Breathe!

I'd like to thank everyone who ever linked to me, commented or visited. You helped push me up into the top 50 Australian women bloggers list and that blew my freakin mind! I've since slipped out and really should take down the link but fuck it! I was there once damnit!! To the 400,000 people who have clicked on this page. Thank you! You're all screwed in the head and need some major psyche evaluations but thank you anyway. Hooray for loons!!

To those that once graced my bogroll or still do (it has been trimmed harshly , but don't get mad, I want it to be a testament to those that I truly adored) I've loved reading you, interacting with you, and getting to know you. I'll still visit occasionally and leave a brainfart or two when time permits, so it's not goodbye forevs just yet.
There are some truly inspiring, special, wonderful, whackjobs, that deserve a mention. So in alphabetical order, I'm giving a shout out to those I love. Please go visit them and add them to your rolls. They's my peeps!

A Dying Star- Rach, you know I think you are THE funniest, most under rated blogger EVAH! You crack me up like no other. Thanks for the laughs.

Angelina- My style icon! I love your quirky, warm, intelligent personality. You are truly one of a kind. I heart thee much.

Audrey- I always wanted to be more like you. You are fucking fearless and I admire you so much. Keep writing girl, your talent is limitless.

Bent My Wookie- I don't know where this young lad has gone, but he WAS like a little brother to me. He writes unbelievably well, and with so much insight and maturity for someone his age, it's freakish, he's also hella funny too. I miss him.

Cablog- Adrian gave me the best advice. He's the daddy of Australian blogging and a true gentleman too. How he read my shit I'll never know. Good luck with your book, I look forward to reading it.

Coax With Candy- Thank you so much for designing and putting together this template. You are amazingly talented, patient and such a nice chick! Have a cupcake on me!

CoyoteMike- Love this guy. Funny as hell, sincere, giving and loyal. I'll miss you and especially your cyber hugs.

DrKen- Hilarious and under appreciated too. One of my longest readers. Thank you.

Chuddy- If I had a twin brother from another mother, it would be him. I heart you.

Fallen Scorpion- Another long time blog buddy. I wish there were more men around like you.

Giggles- A fashionista after my own heart. I've been on a journey with you and we have so much in common. Take care of yourself, sweetie.

Jim Paints The Sky- This guy is certifiable! He is also a talented artist and a good friend. I'll miss my online fun with him even though for the most part, I've never wanted to strangle someone more! Keep in touch you lunatic!

Jobelicious- Ok now I might cry. I LOVE this guy so much, he is without doubt the most mentalist person on the world wide web! Big call, I'm making it. He is THE only one that can call me names, be a total arsehole to me, and get away with it. I'd forgive him anything. He also makes me snort laugh like no other. xx

Jules- Like my older sister only funnier. She has the biggest heart and is funny as fuck with it. I'll miss reading her reactions to the retarded shit I sometimes do.

Kittycat- Oh how I adore her. She is fragile yet strong, intelligent yet loopy, an amazingly talented writer and one of the funniest most self depreciating women I know. Kittycat you could rule the fucking world if you put your heart into it. I'll miss you.xx

Kylie- My soul mate, my best friend, my pain in the arse! She doesn't want her blog linked too, but I had to mention her. She has kept me sane and then driven me INSANE many times over the years, but I love her more than any other. She encouraged me to keep blogging from day one and has read every single post. She's my own private cheerleader and I couldn't imagine my life without her.

Mez- Another amazing Aussie woman. She so often puts into words exactly what I'm thinking, yet somehow it sounds so much better coming from her. There's a gentle soul behind that body armor and she's a school teacher too, so you know I love her more than most.

MemphisSteve- He goes with my blog like peanut butter and jelly (I put it like that so he'd understand. Who eats that crap??) He's been part of my bloggy entourage for over a year and is one very special man. There is so much more to him than he shows on his blog, and although he covers it up with humour and crude comments most of the time, if you look closer you can see through it to the beautiful guy underneath.

MsSmack- Sistagirl! We've had our ups and downs, misunderstandings and been derailed, but things are back on track and I look forward to reading your book. You will finish it, you will be famous and I can say I knew her when. :)

Peter DeWolf- Single girls, go hunt down this man, if he's not the best catch in the blogosphere then I'm a bad judge! Funny, sensitive, smart and cute too. Get on it!! I'll miss you Petey.

Phishy- Another one that makes me tear up! Phish has been through so much in her young life, yet through it all she has maintained a wicked sense of humour and devious sense of fun. Her penis blog is a classic but her personal blog gives an insight into the girl behind the boobs too ;)

She Who Hates Chocolate- Nat, you know I think you're awesome. We share the same demented sense of humour and I think you are the fucking shiznit! I want your life!

Something Special- I heart you! You are just so adorable and you have no idea! I can't wait to see what happens next for you so I'll try to keep up. Look after yourself, gorgeous.

Sublime-ation- Subby, I can't tell you enough how much I've enjoyed knowing you through blogland. You make me laugh, you get me thinking (I know, freaky huh) but most of all your warm, fun, personality shines through every post and you're fucking cool as hell with it.

The Whine Guide- Most know Fingers as a brash, crude, bitofaprick. But he is immensely talented and funny as hell with a wit so sharp you could cut bricks on it. What most people don't know is that behind it all, he is actually quite the sweetheart. Always ready to listen and offer advice (the best kind of advice, stuff you'd rather NOT hear but know you should) genuine, no bullshit, brutally honest, but also loyal, trustworthy and a good guy. He has a big heart, you just have to cut through the barbed wire to get to it. xx

TwentyMajor- He IS a bloggy superstar. He's a published author, comedic genius and writes one of the first blogs I ever read and commented on. Another one who hides a big heart behind brash words, he is a really nice guy and immensely talented. Hugs to you,Mr Major. You inspired me to say "Cunt" and "bollocks" more often. ;)

UniqueStephen- A long time reader and someone who has always encouraged me and been supportive of this blog. You're a sweetie. Thank you.

World. Oyster. Stage- I adore Melbourne Girl so much. She's old skool bloggy royalty, at least in my opinion, and I've enjoyed her blog for three years now. She is talented, funny and always entertaining. She also inspired me at times when I felt like chucking it all in. I'll miss her.

So that's about it. If I didn't give you a shout out, it doesn't mean I love you any less, I just had to narrow it down to the special few, and it was hard. I still appreciate each and every person that ever took the time to read this drivel.

I read somewhere that people who post personal journals on the web are looking for something, they're searching for something outside themselves, and even if they don't realise it at the time, once they've found IT, they no longer feel the need to blog.
I think that's true. Blogging fulfills something inside most people, it fills a void or sorts, it feeds a part of us that feels neglected. That may sound six shades of wanky, but think about it. If we weren't getting SOMETHING out of it, we wouldn't do it. Even if it's just the thrill of putting our personal thoughts out there for the world to see, at some point you move on.

It's been an absolute blast, and I'm not going to say I'll be gone forever, I may post again one day, I doubt it, but I'm not prepared to shut the door completely. Who knows, I may still throw out the odd post when I'm eighty and inappropriately touching the young male nurses in the old folks home! w00t!! w00t!

Lets go out with my favouritist tune of all time. I was only four when this song came out, but I grew up hearing it and love it to this day. Don't you forget about me, because I will not forget any of you.

Peace out, Bitches!!

*I have a good friend that we call "Wiggles", we call her this because she works in a nursing home and this one old guy always requests that she pull the shit out of his arse because it often gets stuck halfway. Wiggles refuses to do this and tells him to "Wiggle a bit" to get it out. Hence, the nickname.
It takes a special type of person to do that job don't you think?

Anyhoo, she is rather fond of a young man that lives in her apartment complex, they run into each other at the letterbox and garbage bin area and always have a little flirt with each other.......Until yesterday.

As part of her job, she often has to rush out for emergency supplies when stocks are low and they're between deliveries, this happened the other day when she had to pick up a few box loads of 'Depends'- Incontinence pads.

Well guess what just happened to fall out of her car when she was getting her own groceries from the back seat and having a little chit chat with flirty boy?
Oh yeah, a stray jumbo sized box of said pads.

Apparently, the look on his face as he picked up the packet and handed them to her, was one of abject horror. The poor girl was so mortified that she could hardly speak let alone explain that they weren't hers!

Sounds like something that would happen to me. I wonder if my tardedness is rubbing off on others?

*Random pic- CATFIGHT!
Old photo, it makes me laugh, thought I'd share. Bite me!


*If you live or work in Sydney, this week you would have been subjected to an onslaught of hyperactive, perpetually cheerful, singing and dancing Catholic teens, as they converge here for World Youth Day Celebrations.

Sweet Jebus it's enough to turn a person Muslim! I think I am seriously missing a chromosome or two because I just don't get it. No drinking, no drugs, no sex, no shenanigans of any kind and these feckers are sooooooo happy. Strike happy, they are fucking ecstatic!
I have a theory that those little biscuity, wafer, things they put in their mouth during a service......well it has to be laced with LSD or some shit. For real! Who is THAT upbeat all the time???
It's making me grouchy.

Funny thing though, not ALL of these teens are squeaky clean. I saw a few Canadians and Americans on Wednesday morning doing the walk of shame in the middle of the city. Bleary eyed, a little tanked yet still singing their hymns, I asked them what they had been up to. A boy who introduced himself as "Todd from Philly, peace be with you" said, "Man, we gotta be 21 to drink in the states! Australia is Awesome man, seriously, awesome"! Then looked as if he was about to throw up a kidney so I got the hell away.

Someone at work told me about a group of girls from The Netherlands, who were disco'ing it up at the local RSL club. Apparently they took great, giggly, delight singing along to the Katy Perry song, "I kissed a girl" and dancing around their handbags for the local surferboys. Hrmmm, I wonder if the Pope would approve!. Muahahaha!!
Australia- Corrupting Catholic teens since 2008! It could work.

Have a good weekend!

Long term readers of this shite will know all too well the shenanigans that I get up to with our buzzy friends. I have had more mishaps than most in my lifetime and no doubt I will have a few more before I shuffle off to that big sex shop in the sky (or would that be, down below?).

Some examples of my Vibrator hijinks include but are not limited to, the cleaning lady debacle and the fireman incident, and another great tale, not starring me for a change, is this one.

So lately, I haven't had much to blog about because my life has become somewhat boring and I've been behaving more maturely and shit (For reals! STFU!!) and I've become a little disenchanted with this whole online crappola, so I'm desperately trying to hit the big 500 post mark so I can piss off for good. (20 to go for those playing at home and waiting with bated breath for my intarweb demise).
Anyway, sitting around with the Supertard crew last night, I was begging them for a little blog fodder so I can get closer to my goal, when Voula reminded me about a horrific incident that happened a few years ago, an event that I had successfully managed to push back into the dark recesses of my brain....until last night.

I was living with my flatmate at the time, Tash, remember her? The one with the one night stand douchewagon who shat in her bed? Well, I had been enjoying a peaceful day, home alone, doing what one does when one is a horny beeyotch and in need of relief, ie, watching porn in bed and going through batteries by the dozen, when Tash came home and rudely interrupted.

When she knocked on my bedroom door and bounded in, I had all of a nanosecond to turn off the tv and dash under the covers. Now, not being the most astute person in the world, she didn't realise I had been having a love in for one, and proceeded to jump around my bed like an overeager puppy telling me all about her day. It was during one of these over excited bed bounces that a strange buzzing sound started to come from beneath the covers.

Tash- What's that noise? (I told you she wasn't bright)
Me- Errrr, nothing.
Tash- No serioulsy, there's a buzzing noise, can't you hear it?

*crickets chirp. Bed buzzes*

Me- Ohhh that. That's, that is, um that's the electric blanket (Now see how fucking smart I am compared to her?)

Tash- Well get out of bed you're going to be electrocuted, it must be faulty, it shouldn't make a noise like that. (Yes, she was completely serious)
Me- It's fine, it does that all the time.
Tash- You'll be fried and burn the fucking house down. I'm turning it off.

And she did.
And the bed continued to buzz.

Tash- What the.................(You could see the realisation start to dawn.....slowly) Ewwwwwwww! You grot!! I sat on your vibrator!!!

She runs shrieking from the room and I convulse with laughter for about five seconds until she pops her head back around the door and says;

"Oh, that reminds me, I meant to tell you earlier, you really should put those things away. I came home yesterday to return the shoes I borrowed from you last week, and Moopsy was licking it on the floor. If my cat gets sick you're paying the vet bills."

Oh the horror!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I told my boy this story just yesterday and he said, "Oh I finally know what that saying means"
"What saying?" Says I. "You know the one of smiling like the cat that got the cream"

Boom Tish!!

Insert pussy licking jokes below.

I went for a thorough waxing yesterday and a more pleasant way to spend a Sunday afternoon I'm yet to find, anyway I got talking to my waxer laydee, as one does when one is up in stirrups exposing what they had for breakfast and getting some air on their ovaries, when she told me that they no longer do the back, sack and crack jobbie for men.

Having an inquiring nature as I do, and ignoring my better judgment, I just had to ask why.

Well it seem that there is an abundance of kinky fuckers out there that get off on having their pubes torn from their scrotum, so much so that my poor waxer laydee has been propositioned to "finish the job" *wink, wink* one too many times, had to handle way too many saggy old men sacks while they huffed and puffed and almost had heart attacks, had to wash way too many towels after some unaided happy endings AND worse of all, copped a bit of pearl necklace as one pervy bastard exposed himself at the point of no return.

Now, a few things bother me about this, no really, it does.
Firstly, Who are these kinky buggers that can not only sustain an erection while the hairs from their nuts are being ripped from the very folicle, but how on earth can they achieve orgasm while their most sensitive part is being violated in such a way?

I know there are people that get off on pain, lord knows I will never be able to look at one of my cousins the same way after he showed me the rope burn and whip lashes on his back, ok, fair enough for him, whatever floats his boat, but getting whipped and having a nut wax by a perfect stranger are two very different things.

You can build up a pain threshold for that kind of pain, but I am a wuss and damn near cry like a baby every time I get one. No, I don't think I'm as nutty as these men because I don't do it for any sexual gratification, I happen to like the look and feel of it, it's a personal thing, and even if I were getting off on it, I sure as shit wouldn't subject some poor innocent waxer to my depraved fetish!

There are brothels, and other massage type places that offer these services, and I bet you anything it's cheaper to get it done there than an Ella Bache' spa!!

Men. I just cannae fathom the thought processes. Someone enlighten me PLEASE!

Ok, by popular demand is really only two emails, but hey, I don't need much encouragement to get my banality on.

*Blog stalking time!!! I haven't had much time for blog stalking lately, but I couldn't go past this newbie- Bullhorn! This guy is hilarious, he has a cutting wit and a keen observational eye, he's also fairly new to this blogging caper, so go and say hello and welcome him to the psyche ward....er...I mean, blogosphere.

*From the bogroll, go visit Original Mel. This girl is involved in more shenanigans and hijinks than ME! She is wee yourself funny, she writes from the heart and always has a tale to tell. Currently in the UK, this Aussie chick is one to add to your bog roll. Do it now!!

*So you think the blog whoring is done? On no it's not, this is becoming like some fucking long blogommercial!! It's my blog, get over it!! Anyhoo, it was with great saddness that I discovered my ultimate blog crush, Ms Fits, hung up her keyboard last month. I'm gutted!! She was without doubt the Queen of Australian blogging, and nobody could ever match her style, wit and sheer bloody brilliance as a writer. She will be missed.

*In other bloggy news, have we all had a good LOL over the outing of Caz and Hack? For people who have lived in a cave the last few years, Caz and Hack were the snipers behind the now defunct "The Spin Starts Here". What apparently started as a website devoted to social commentary and celebrity snark, soon degenerated into a shitfest of bitching and bullying directed at Aussie bloggers and others they deemed worthy of attacking. Their vitriol was at times vicious and often very personal as they took delight in outing the names of other bloggers as well as threatening to reveal where they lived and worked. They drove many people from the blogosphere and hurt a lot of others with their special brand of "snark".
Now, the tables have turned. The Lulz Starts here is a blog that not only reveals the people behind the Caz and Hack persona, but it's become a platform for all the people they "cyber bullied", to exact a bit of revenge. It's an interesting, if not disturbing read.

*On to other things, if you want to buy a bag that is perfectly waterproof from the inside (I don't know why you would, maybe you want to take your goldfish for a walk in it, or maybe if you plan on getting lost in the desert you could fill it up before hand) then go and purchase this cute little Chanel number. My bottled water spilled in that bag, all 50o mls of it, and not a single drop leaked out. Of course my Ipod is now ratshit along with everything else I had in the bag, but good to know it's leak proof! I was wondering what the slushing sound was as I strolled along. Little did I know I had a portable pool in my own handbag! Booo to that!

*I haven't mentioned it here because I haven't been around much, but I'm back living in a share house situation. It's not permanent and I'm counting the days till I'm on my own again because more and more I'm discovering that I'm not exactly a "people person". Finding pubes in the bath and that my favourite perfume has been used as air freshener..........well it's enough to make the life of a Hermit look appealing!! Lets not even mention the sounds of the sexin c0ming from the next room and that all my Vibrators buzz too loudly!! Booo to that as well!

*Finally, I know this post is pretty boring, but that's my life at the moment, the only exciting thing to happen to me lately is the fact that I'm no longer a dumb blonde.....I'm now a dumb brunette! Huzzah!
Have a good week everyone!

***UPDATE***
Perusing sitemeter tonight (keeping an eye on the stalkers who are keeping an eye on me) and guess what I found? The motherfarking US GOVERNMENT is keeping tabs on my me!! whaaat? Where is Kitty and her tin foil hat? Make me one STAT! Check this out.

I am not a terrorist!! lulz.

***Update 2*** From My Box

Check this email I recieved, click to enlarge.

My fave part is "i hope you may not know me, and i don't know who you are, My Name is Miss Anita, i am just broswing now i just saw your Email and it seams like some thing touches me all over my body, i started having some feelings in me which i have never experience in me before,"

I hope you may not know me? But I'm creating "feelings" in you? lmao. Is anyone else a little moist? Should I email her back? Do you think she'll request my bank details immediately or will she try to sell me some Viagra instead? Honestly, Spammers are tha shiz. Love it!

If that's not a valid ad for tourism NSW, I don't know what is. Truth in advertising I say!

Drink spiking is so prolific, especially around the Eastern Suburbs clubs, that you actually judge your night out by how much you remember. A good night is one where you have total recall after your second Appletini! Sometimes we even play a game called "Guess the Spike" where you have a sip of your drink then declare whether you think you've been given Rohypnol, Ketamine or something milder like a Valium. (Ok, I'm joking there, but the drink spiking situation is for real and it's fucking dangerous).

If you manage to survive being drugged six ways from Sunday, you then have to run the gauntlet of Sydney bouncers. A bigger bunch of knuckle dragging, Neanderthal, halfwits you'd be hard pressed to find. They all have what seems to be a grade five education, and communicate mostly with grunts and punches to your esophagus. Men, woman, elderly or infirm, nobody is safe from these brain dead clowns. Look at them the wrong way and you'll be removing your teeth from the back of your head or tasting cement as they hurl you down stairs for daring to question their IQ! (True story that one, ask Kylie, she'll tell you, she slid down those stairs faster than an incontinent granny on her way to the loos).

All jokes aside, and it's not fucking funny really, we had an incident on the weekend that was sadly, typical, of a night out in Sydney.

One of our friends who rarely drinks, and on this occasion had a mere TWO cocktails, was suddenly staggering, incoherent and very, very, wasted. Her boyfriend was extremely worried, as you would be, especially because she's an Asthmatic and was starting to panic, causing her to hyperventilate and get breathless.

Her boy decided it would be best to sit her down in a corner and go out to the car to get her inhaler, he didn't tell us though, so we just assumed that they had gone home.

So the boy goes out to the car, gets her inhaler and attempts to come back into the club. The bouncers on the other hand, being a bit bored having only bashed a few patrons that night, decided they were not letting him back into the club, even though he was showing no signs of being drunk and explained to them politely why he NEEDED to get back inside the club, immediately.

The bouncers in their infinite wisdom (four of them sharing half a brain cell) were having none of it. They not only refused to let him in, for reasons best known to themselves, but they refused to even check on his girlfriend or escort her out of the club.

Her boy was getting a little agitated by this stage and demanded to speak to the manager. That was the green light one of the buffoons needed to push him on his way, by, wait for it, slapping him in the forehead. Now, imagine this, the dude is a HUGE, Pacific Islander, about the size of a Mack truck, and one of his hands would be big enough to cup Oprah's whole arse! The forehead slap sent this guy spiraling backwards into the pavement, and then it was on. He stupidly picked up a bar stool that the biggest gorilla had been sitting on and threw it at one of the bouncers, it hit the dolt, and also smashed the glass doors. All manner of hell broke loose!

This guy ended up with SIX bouncers on him, kicking, punching and squashing him till the police arrived.

Do you think the scene calmed down then? Oh no it did not. The cops ALSO refused to go into the club to check on his girlfriend, or ask one of the bouncers to do so, but decided to arrest my friend and charge him with assault, resisting arrest (this one is just laughable considering he had six massive units sitting on him by the time the cops arrived) and also malicious damage because he broke the glass door.

Meanwhile his girlfriend is passed out in the club and he is absolutely beside himself with worry.

The cops did let this guy ring another friend who was still inside the club and he explained the situation, so when the story was relayed to the rest of us, we went on a hunt for his girlfriend.

We couldn't find her anywhere.

Turns out some good Samaritan had taken her outside and put her in a cab, how she managed to tell the taxi driver where she lived and actually manage to get inside, is anyone's guess, but we are just so thankful that she made it home ok. When you think what COULD have happened, she's very lucky indeed.

I'd love to mention the name of this particular establishment, but my friends boyfriend is seeking legal advice today and intends to pursue matters through the courts so I wont. It doesn't really matter anyway, as you take a risk most times you go to a club in Sydney thanks to the thugs on the door and the fuckers that lurk in these places.

Girls, guard your drinks with your life. Do not put them down, do not let strangers buy you drinks, and even watch the bar tenders carefully when they make one for you.
It also pays not to look sideways at the door bitches, and if they ask you to leave, just do it. They are almost a law unto themselves and it's really not worth the risk.