So this weekend was HUGE in Syders. For those that live under a rock, it was the annual Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras celebration and it went OFF. The vibe was amazing, the floats spectacular and there were gorgeous gay boys from all over the world, wearing not very much and pashing on every street corner. Ohhh heaven!

It was also a very educational event and I for one learned two very important things that I will share with you now.

1) It doesn't matter if your friend is DJ'ing at an exclusive club (and your name is actually ON the list for once) it's still impossible to get access to the VIP lounge if you're a boringly straight female. Booo to that! No amount of bribery, begging, pleading or trying to sneak behind the velvet rope will work. Not even frenching your friends will convince them.
You know how some straight people have a "Gaydar"? Well some gay peeps have a Straight-0meter and can spot a fake lezzbo couple at a hundred paces.
It was back to dancing with the plebs for moi!

2) And this is most important of all. If you are going to insult a six foot tall transvestite wearing seven inch heels, you better be able to run FAST and dodge missiles, as my friend Claudia discovered.

It started innocently enough, watching the parade and commenting to a huge, hot, tranny beside us "Wow, tits AND cock! I wouldn't know what to grope first".

Frankenfurter then quipped in response, " Honey, my dick is too fine and my titties too fabulous for the likes of you".

I nearly choked on my Jagermeister!
Not being one to take a hint (she's as thick as Trump's wallet and as brittle as his hair), Claudia replied thusly; Pfft! At least my tits are REAL!

Can anyone say GAME ON MOLL?

Frankie countered with- Real and UGLY!
Now, at this point, I removed my shoes. I's not silly and can sense a bitchslappin' was about to be delivered. I started to drag Claudia in the direction of thefuckouttathere, but she still had one foolish comeback to hurl.

Claudia- Are your balls as big as your mouth, bitch!!

AND THEN WE RAN!
Luckily for me, Frankie only had eyes for Claudia and chased her away down a backstreet. I was amazed and in awe of Frankie's ability to run so fast in such high heels. Truly a staggering achievement, however, Claudia is a wiley one and managed to escape, but not before having a milk crate thrown at her noggin . Fun times.

All in all, not counting attacks from random tranny's, the weekend was tonnes of fun. If you've never been, you really need to get your arse here for next year. Just remember to wear flat shoes and if you have a big mouth, a crash hat for stray missiles.

Happy Mardi Gras!!