Everyone has that "something", that certain ideology or belief system from which they won't accept compromise within a relationship. Be that violence, weird sexual fetishes, infidelity or worse. But what of friendships? What certain something is a dealbreaker where friendships or other less important relationships are concerned?

I stand by the view that everyone is entitled to their own opinion, to live their lives as they see fit, worship whatever God they choose and vote for whomever they please. I often disagree heatedly, debate and argue with these people, but I always walk away respecting their right to voice their opinion.

There are only a few things that I will not tolerate or put up with from anyone, be they friend, family, colleague or acquaintance and that is racism, sexism and homophobia.
If you hold dear any of these ideologies then I don't want to be around you. Period.
I can't stand intolerance of any kind, but these three vile traits are not negotiable with me at all.

This week in Australia was one of mixed emotions for me. On the one hand we had the Prime Minister, Kevin Rudd, apologising on behalf of the nation to the Stolen Generation , our indigenous people,for the "pain, hurt and suffering" and for the " indignity and degradation thus inflicted on a proud people and a proud culture", due to the forced removal of children from their familes by the government of the day.
A moment that for me, made me proud to be an Australian for the first time in I don't know how long. A history making, nation defining moment that had me in tears of both sorrow AND joy, it was also an event that would create a wave of healing, optimism and unification in this country for the first time between Indigenous and non-indigenous Australians.

YET, for me the day was soured horribly by the amount of people I interacted with who didn't support the apology and who used racist, derogatory, inflammatory language to express WHY they didn't support it.
I have no problem with people not accepting the general concesus that an apology for the treatment of Aboriginals in this country was long overdue. Like I said previously, everybody is entitled to their own opinion, no matter how ignorant it sounds to my ears. What I do take issue with is the underlying hatred, bigotry and sometimes blatant racism that went with it.
Both online and off, I argued with these fools who spewed forth some of the most nonsensical, downright idiotic views I have ever heard. It was like bashing my head against a brick wall and caused me to weep tears of sheer frustration and anger.

The two issues that kept cropping up with these halfwits were : "I didn't do anything to the Abo's why should I say sorry? I didn't kill their relatives or steal their babies, so I'm NOT sorry".

To that I reply, when someone you know passes away, or something bad happens to them, what's the first thing you do? You go to the relatives or loved ones and you say SORRY. Sorry to hear of their heartache, sorry that they are suffering, sorry that they have to go through this. You are sorry for their pain. You're not sorry because you CAUSED their pain or had anything to do with it, you're sorry because you're a fellow human being and you feel for them. It's called empathy.
For so many people this issue is about apportioning blame. They're wrong. It's about acknowledging past injustices, recognizing wrongs that were committed and moving on.

The other issue that kept cropping up was one of monetary compensation- "It's just a cash grab, they'll sue the Govt, the country will be bankrupt and they'll only spend MY tax dollars on booze and drugs".

Firstly, Aboriginal people pay taxes too. It's OUR tax dollars, all of us. Secondly, compensation to the stolen generation is warranted in my opinion. No amount of money can cure the decades of hurt or bring shattered families back together, but some token needs to be given to those that suffered. If my tax dollars can go to supporting junkies and drug dealers then by fuck I'm happy for a few dollars to go towards people who really deserve it. The country is NOT going to become bankrupt. You are not going to lose your homes. Fact.

I argued these points till I was blue in the face and I'm devastated to discover such backward thinking from people I used to respect and admire. If nothing else this issue allowed me to cut some toxic people from my circle of friends, it's allowed me to see some co-workers for who they really are, and helped me to decide exactly who I want to spend my time with and who I'd sooner chew razor blades than spend another second in the presence of.

You see this issue is a very personal one for me. I've blogged once before about my Aboriginal cousins and the time I spent during school holidays with them on Kemspey mission. I've heard the stories first hand about the kids that were taken away. I've seen with my own eyes the blatant racism they STILL face on a daily basis and as white as I am, when I hear a racist slur or joke about Aboriginal people, my blood boils as surely as if I were koori myself. It's an insult to my extended family, an attack on my kin and I won't fucking stand for it.

*Beautiful cuz, Nic and son Wittamoo. If Witty had been born back in the day, he'd have been removed from his mothers arms and placed with a white family as he is "only quatercast", by the old standards.



I had a very public online meltdown during the week on the forum I moderated on. (Past tense now as I quit) because I could not believe the things I was reading. I could not understand how in the year 2008 there could still be Australians so lacking in compassion, empathy and goodwill that it totally made me despair for this nation and the futures of our indigenous people. My joy and pride at being Australian after Ruddies speech was totally washed away on a wave of ignorance and bigotry. How could something so beautiful and pure be tarnished so readily by a few ignorant rednecks?

I'm not so naive as to believe saying "sorry" will be a cure all. The Aboriginal community at large has some major issues that need to be addressed, but it's a start, it's the beginning of a healing process for the whole nation. If you can't see that that is a good thing, if you can't see the postives in that, then I feel sorry for you. But if you're using this historic event to voice your disgusting racial hatreds, then I don't want to know you. THAT is a deal breaker. THAT makes you a person not worth knowing and not worthy of my time.
FACT.