Hello chickadees! I bet you thought the "banalathon" wouldn't make the blog cut for 2008 didn't you? Were you hoping? Well tough titties cos it's BACK. Yes, just when you thought the vapid, inane, craptacular posts on this blog couldn't get any more mind numbing, the dot points are back.
Suck it up buttercup!

*Blog stalking time! This month I'm giving a shout out to a brand spanking new blog. Having the same kind of anonymous confessional theme as post secret, I bring you Kiss And Tell- True Confessions! Here you can post your own sexay confessions and have others comment on or "me too" you, which basically allows other anon types with similar experiences to have a voice. It's better than Post Secret in that it's updated more often, and people can post comments as soon as the confessions arise. It's a lot of fun, and a great read too. Check it!

* From the bogroll, go and visit my friend "Spew It All". He wrote a most excellent post all about the "c" word. That's CUNT for those that don't know. I suggest you go read it, he makes some wonderful points about the stigma that is attached to that word and asks why on earth we use it as an insult when in reality the word represents a most wonderful part of the female anatomy. In fact, I commented that from now on I'm going to use that word in a good way, because god damn I get so much pleasure from it. So from now on, if I call you a big CUNT you know I love you and value you the joy you bring me ;). So you gorgeous cunts, what do you think about that?

* Through my job I sometimes get the chance to 'hobnob', which is basically rubbing shoulders with C grade celebrities and ex reality tv 'stars'........Mostly. Well last week I topped it all. Mofo's I was face to cleavage with Nicole Kidman and that little lad she's married to. Seriously, dude is SHORT. So much so he wears high heeled boots. The only cowboys that wear those kinda boots are the Brokeback mountain kind, so it's quite baffling how he managed to impregnate her.
About Nicole, she is beautiful. She looks like a fragile, exotic flower, however, she could use a Big Mac or two. Bitch is up the duff* and hardly has a belly at all, not to mention the rest of her skeletal frame which makes her look like an Anorexic's wet dream. Nic, you're eating for two now! Go have a pork chop.

* Everybody knows I hate that LOLcats blog, it makes me want to drown kittens and shit. However, if you're a fan with your own blog, you can LOLinate it at i can haz websiet. It's actually pretty funny to see your blog 'pimped' the lolcats way. Try it.

* I'm loving the new Ashlee Simpson song. My musical retardation has just kicked up a notch, somebody kill me.

* Facebook has one again outdone itself in the "Let's stalk our exes and get fucked up over what we find" stakes. A close friend of mine, yeah it's Kylie, had a friend request from her ex-fiancee, remember that douche? The one who dumped her arse for a chick at work and we set fire to his clothes, got arrested and had restraining orders placed against us? That one! The nerve of him!
Being the self torturer that Kylie is, she accepted his friend request and spent the next three days in a bottle of Vodka after she discovered his wedding pictures, and ultrasound photo of his future devil spawn.
Good times.
Why do people inflict such pain on themselves this way? I admit, when I was on Facebook (which was all of two weeks because I was poked, bitten by zombies and sent fucked up "growing gifts" that hatched into weird shit, till I wanted to harm myself) I did check out a few exes and once I noticed the early signs of a stomach ulcer, I blocked those fuckers and didn't look back.
Kylie became obsessed with her exes "status". Oh look, he's home from work and tired. Oh look, he says he's wishing it was the weekend. Oh look he just sent his wife a fucking bouquet of cyber flowers! Oh look, new pics of the fetus from hell.
Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?????
Facebook, aka, Fuckedbook, should implement an application where you can block all your exes from even searching for you let alone trying to add you in their quest to have more "friends" than the dolt in the cubicle next to them at work. It's a sure way to drive yourself nuts!

*Because my shoes are becoming very popular amongst the girlies in Blogsville, and funnily enough, Google searches. Have a gawk at my latest pair, this time by the master Jimmy Choo. Are they not droolworthy? Why yes. Yes they are.

*Drinking game time- Are you ready? Pocket rocket dildo!! My new keychain.

DRINK!!!!

* Few people know the extent of my geekyness on teh intarweb, but my cover is being blown due to the amount of people stalking me from a certain forum where I'm a.......wait for it......MODERATOR!! Oh for shame! I thought I'd never live down the fact that I have a blog, but a few of my friends have since jumped on the blog bandwagon, making it somewhat less geeky. Moderating on a forum with over nine thousand members, takes me to a whole new level in Geekdom. All thats left is for me to learn HTML and become addicted to wOw!
Maybe I need someone to stage an intervention for me, like Britney but with less paparazzi and sedatives.

* Drunken debate- Do you think it's wise to have exes and people you dislike on your "friends list"??




**Up the duff- Pregnant!